A Glimpse

 

 

I spent the entire night crying...

 

And before you go there, no.

 

Not because I was into my 30's now and I was mourning for my lost youth.

 

At first I thought someone had slipped a dose of acid into my Aviation cocktail. There was this weird, trippy, muddy-headed dizziness, a warping in my mind that made me close my eyes tightly against it and when I opened them, I was seated on the huge area rug that Giselle had helped me to drag up from my apartment to the roof, just for the party. It was only my second drink, so there was no way I was anywhere near drunk and we hadn't opened the Absinthe yet, so I couldn't exactly blame it on that either. So what else could it have been?

 

"Asshole!" I stood up and yelled across the roof of my three story building. Not my usual language, but really, who drugs you at your own birthday party? "Who slipped me the acid?"

 

 

 

And then he kissed me. Bliss. Ah, blissful, wonderful kisses that erased any other thoughts. And then he was pushing me back gently, and down into the softness of the couch, his hands caught up in my hair, his mouth crushed against mine. Hard, deep kisses that made everything seem normal. Because Death doesn’t have makeout sessions, right?

 

 

 

Should I say it? Tell him what I was really thinking about him? Could he take this life from me? What little of a life it was. Why was he here, and how had I ended up alone with him again? And what was that feeling? A prickling up the back of my neck, a sharpness through my mind. That whisper wrapping through my psyche.

 

~ Milseachd ~

 

I fought it, gritted my teeth against it. “I was just telling Liam how you need to stop being such an ass.” And there it was. Out. A giant matzo ball. Did his left eye just twitch? Oh, he did not look too pleased at all.

 

“Excuse me?” he stood and I backed up a step before I realized that I was even moving. But my mouth was on a roll.

 

“You need to stop being an ass. You’re cold and unfeeling and could have handled all of this business with me, I’m sure, in a much better way. There had to have been a better way. It might be some kind of same old everyday bullshit for you, but for me this was monumental. Did you forget that? Has it been so long since it happened to you that you don’t remember? What it was like to lose everything, everyone, that meant anything to you. To be ripped away from it all. Or maybe you were never human. Maybe you were always…this.”

 

 

 

“Why is she different Gideon?" Liam asked, concern etched across his face. “She’s so different. There’s something about her, so…”

 

I saw Liam speaking with Gideon. Could see him through the window and the sheer curtains of Elysium. I could hear them clearly, right through the glass, even though a crow and a seagull were having an unceasing argument over head, making a grand racket.

 

My attention left the window and focused on the gull that kept swooping down at the crow where he sat staunchly perched on the uppermost branch of a tree. My gaze fell back to Liam and Gideon inside the coffee house, but I couldn’t hear them anymore.

 

A massive, blustery wind kicked up suddenly, pushing me away from the now hazy window, as dry fall leaves on the ground came swirling into the air. I could feel them against my back, brushing against my bare shoulders. Where had my coat gone? I’d just had my coat on, now I was left with only some kind of corseted top. The leaves were making my back itch where they relentlessly struck my skin. I closed my eyes as a bundle of orange, red, and brown blew against my face, pushed them away with my hands.

 

I heard music, heard laughing. I opened my eyes.

 

It was my old rooftop, and my party decorations, but I didn’t recognize anyone.There was the couch.There was me. And all the people dressed in beautiful black clothing were pointing at me. This me, not the one on the couch. But this breathing, confused version.

 

I backed away, bumping into something warm and very solid, large, much larger than a person. I could smell it before I turned. Honey-like, hay, sunshine, dust, musk.

 

Horse.

 

I turned and ran my hands down his flank. I marveled at his strength and beauty. A Friesian. A horse of war. He was here for me. He was mine now.I climbed onto him using the arm of the couch to boost myself up to his grand height. He wore no saddle and I could feel his muscles and raw power beneath me, my legs, could sense the urgency in the great animal to leave. He began his trek across the roof, knocking aside the ones that laughed at me. Though their mouths were no longer open in cackling amusement, but in shock and awe, and contempt.This horse, my horse, Eyvindur—that word, his name, whispered through my brain, through me—cantered across the rooftop…

 

And right over the ledge.

 

No! My heart jumped and then dropped to my stomach. I twined my hands tightly through his silky mane, squeezing my eyes shut—waiting for the inevitable plunge. We dipped, I felt us plummet…then we lifted, remained aloft, and we were flying.I felt pure joy. Overwhelming elation as we soared over the city, hidden in the night, cool briny ocean air ruffling through my hair.

 

Until I saw them. The people from the roof. They were behind us. They were pursuing us. I let go of Eyvindur’s mane and let loose my bolts at them. Arrows? Where had those come from? One struck, and I watched as the hideous tracker fell from the sky, spiraling downward. Then they were upon us, my bow was ripped from my hands. The maddened creatures pulled and tore at Eyvindur. They scratched at my legs and pulled feathers from my wings.

 

My wings?

 

I screamed. The pain was searing. My back was on fire from the shredding of my wings by their claws. I cried out and twisted from their grasp, fell from Eyvindur’s back, tumbling down through the night sky, as the ocean below rushed up to greet me.